I'm such a stupid shit. I said I'd do math and I end up going blog surfing. and start reading about the old malaysian circle almost all of whom seem to have gotten JPA scholarships to every country in this godamn world. And then I receive an e-mail reminding me about my 'entry into the working world'. Stupid Stupid Sophia.

Last night I had an awful dream about how we were all going for an 'econs trip' to malaysia and were boarding the bus (i din want to go but had to) and i saw ZhiAn outside. So I asked her why she wasn't boarding the bus then she alluded to changing subject combi or something so i said "but you haven't changed yet wad, so you still have to go" then she said "No, I quit already". And then I felt very depressed because it emphasised all my fears that I've chosen the wrong subject combi in that I can't get a friggin A for Lit and I'm not scoring for my godamn subjects like my roommates etc etc. And ZhiAn changed to 'SO3K'.

Then the dream changed to how it was time to get our PSLE results (which I didn't even sit for!) and apparently we had to call some hotline to get the results but I din know so I had to wait for the 'next appropriate time' when the hotlines would open again... then after some blurry parts of the dream this guy came along and said he marked my lit paper. And he reeled out my results. it went something like "4B4s, 3B3s, 2C[something], 2As... 4B4s.." was like, "oh shit. why so many b4s". in my head of course. then he said I messed up the last few questions of my lit paper and therefore got a b4 for that. Dammit. And Malaysia's top scorer got 17A1s for SPM this year (equivilant to O Levels) and a few hundred got straight As. Stupid Stupid Sophia.

Anyway, last night I had a wonderful dinner at Judith's. Woke up thinking I'd miss this dinner but then my roommate said we were having 'fish and white vegetables' for dinner at RI so I decided to call Ju and upon hearing 'kebabs' I decided it was worth the journey. So I headed down to some of the best people I've known in Singapore and had lazy times. Lazy time with the gang is the best. haha, coz you feel less need to... be something, or someone. or have something. or be fashionable. or worry about gossip. there I can talk about all the shit in the world and talk about lesbian relationships with bos and lyn, and everytime jerm still says "soph is made of sugar". And things we do don't end up somewhere in the RJ rumour mill which sheng told me about but I din really -get- till I got here. my god, I think rafflesians are seriously deprived.