What not to say when you lan-lan hear the nee-nor, nee-nor behind you and see the flashing light in your mirror.

1. Sorry, officer. I’m still not used to this car, because I just stole it only.
2. Licence? Since when need licence, ah?
3. Really? That means you were also traveling at that speed to catch up with me, so… that means you were also speeding, lah.! Eh, you got saman yourself, not? Otherwise, not fair, mah! Eh, how can like that?
4. Can you hold my beer while I find my driving license?
5. I’m not drunk! I’m… special.
6. Stop sign? Tsk, I can’t see anything without my bleddy specs!
7. Sorry, I’ve tied up my boss in the trunk and I was just in a hurry to go and buy some cement before the shop closes, lah.
8. Why was I speeding? Aiyah, because I didn’t see you in time, mah!
9. What detergent you use to get your uniform so white, ah?
10. I was speeding, officer, because this cocaine needs to be delivered by noon.
11. Eh? I thought I oreddy paid off my MP so this sort of thing wen happen?
12. Speeding? Cannot be, mah! I’m too drunk to speed!
13. It’s okay, officer. I’m personally teaching this dog how to drive.
14. Speeding? Don’t bluff! Eh, let’s ask someone for a second opinion!
15. How come you stop me? I wasn’t speeding, I was only driving at 5 km/h, what!
16. I was going at 140 km/h?! Talk cock! It was at least 160, man!
17. I’m in a hurry to get to DBS and take out all my stuff from my safety deposit box before they destroy it.
18. (after winding down the window) Can I get two cheeseburgers and 1 Coke?
19. Sorry for speeding, but I got an appointment with your wife, lah.
20. Thanks, officer! I’m going to tell everyone how fair you traffic policemen are! You’re the fourth officer this week to let me off with just a warning!

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