Oh!! My God!!!! i'm still so high from it! i've never been so delightfully scared witless before. was cowering behind my trusty ny jacket at some points. [slaps self] but oooh! the acting! the lighting! [raves] i shall do my raving here so i can sound a bit more dignified on my blog. oooh!! the two actors, argh, so perfect! the lighting cues, the sound- everything just flawless! [further raving] whumpf. one day i will do that. i must pull off, one day, a flawless, world-class performance like that.

perhaps susan hill is useful for something after all.

oh side note: i am proud to me the 1000th vistor to this blog. i noticed the number. =D

was wonderful =)
thank you.
to everyone who stayed back till 7 setting up the lit board yesterday, and who heroically sacrificed math lectures for its sake. your martyrdom will go down in the annals of history. sappho would be so proud of you =)
to choon and shoojee for being such lovely sports, with the short notice you guys still pulled off twist and bumble so naturally. and gracefully too, which probably is most important.
and to the rest of you for support, whether through taiwanese english (tsz san you're horrid! =P) or babblings about our vice-head and just. destressing each other when we needed it. knowing there's always someone around to help is highly comforting.

seriously, this class is quite amazing =)

People!
My parents have greenlighted the rasam rice party! Plus they'll be away in Bintan so there will be no parental units to supervise/hinder! Next next Monday, 2 August. We can go over right after school, since Chinese is no longer an issue. Yay!
And you can stay till until the evening, so rasam rice for late lunch as well as dinner won't be a problem as long as you don't get bored with it.
So tell me who can go, soon!

haha that's quite good. ;p

only thing is that it kinda reminds me of 1a's.
lit-related and all that.

still like the "touch" "rugby" idea.
but i bet our boys will never wear pink.
-_- let along pink and "touch".

i just had a brainwave!! let's have a class tee that says:

oh this is toooooo funny!!!
 

kitson!
hobbitses!
 
i cant stop laughing!

i cannot resist ;p

i've posted this here before. i think.
but it was in prose, then, and i didn't know the title.
and anyway, it's beautiful.
(after reading it you will want to go to princeton.)

so here:

Princeton--the last day

The last light wanes and drifts across the land,
The low, long land, the sunny land of spires.
The ghosts of evening tune again their lyres
And wander singing, in a plaintive band
Down the long corridors of trees. Pale fires
Echo the night from tower top to tower.
Oh, sleep that dreams and dream that never tires,
Press from the petals of the lotus-flower
Something of this to keep, the essence of an hour!

No more to wait the twilight of the moon
In this sequestered vale of star and spire;
For one, eternal morning of desire
Passes to time and earthy afternoon.
Here, Heraclitus, did you find in fire
And shifting things the prophecy you hurled
Down the dead years; this midnight my desire
Will see, shadowed among the embers, furled
In flame, the splendor and the sadness of the world.

"That it is," I said. "You have a choice up on this mountain: either you can lose contact with history, as I sometimes choose to, or mentally you can do what you're doing - by the light of the moon, for hours on end, work to regain possession of it."
-I Married A Communist-
 
isn't that perfectly lovely? when i grow up i want a holiday home on the slope of a mountain, looking over a lake where the moon will rise, every 15 days, in a perfect round circle of complacence.
 
"To me it seems likely that more acts of personal betrayal were tellingly perpetrated in America in the decade after the war - say between '46 and '56 - than in any other period in our history...when had betrayal ever been so destigmatized and rewarded in this country? It was everywhere during those years, the accessible transgression, the permissible transgression that any American could commit. Not only does the pleasure of betrayal replace the prohibition, but you transgress without giving up your moral authority. You retain your purity at the same time as you are patriotically betraying - at the same time as you are realizing a satisfaction that verges on the sexual with its ambiguous components of pleasure and weakness, of aggression and shame: the satisfaction of undermining. Undermining sweethearts. Undermining rivals. Undermining friends. Betrayal in this same zone of perverse and illicit and fragmented pleasure. An interesting, manipulative, underground type of pleasure in which there is much that a human being finds appealing."
-I Married A Communist-
 
this is for the historians of 13a. so much more interesting than kwok's notes dont you think? betraying friends who were communists, was that right or wrong? where does your ideology penetrate your human relations and interactions with others, if it is ever supposed to in the first place? and does a different way of thinking equate them to being your enemies, does it mean that you need to "reform" them to come around to your way? or could it just be possible to coexist differently. i don't know. and it's not just ideology, in terms of morals, beliefs, values. if someone holds a different set of values from you, is it alright to lose respect for them, or should you still respect them, for it is only a different way of thinking.
 
see, this is exactly why my friend did not take lit. there's too much confusion. still, it's nice to be thinking again, after mindlessly doing bio for so long =P

listened to elbow's cast of thousands for the first time in a long time and rediscovered a song which, when we reconvene for a reunion years down the road, could well be my song...

snooks (progress report)
stuff was started
things have ends
stuff regarding all my friends

some were married
all were fine
these are good friends
these are mine

i got deep
warm
drunk
and i lost my words
and it does not hurt
and that moon is...

absurd

guy garvey writes such interesting lyrics. :p

the way to hump a cow is not
to get yourself a stool
but draw a line around the spot
and call it beautifool

to multiply because and why
dividing thens by nows
and adding and(i understand)
is hows to hump a cows

the way to hump a cow is not
to elevate your tool
but drop a penny in the slot
and bellow like a bool

to lay a wreath from ancient greath
on insulated brows
(while tossing boms at uncle toms
is hows to hump a cows

the way to hump a cow is not
to push and then to pull
but practicing the art of swot
to preach the golden rull

to vote for me(all decent mem
and wonens will allows
which if they don't to hell with them)
is hows to hump a cows

---

for shoojee, and etc., so females in the future may be thus educated.

anyone wants to go see the above? ian and i are attempting to herd people towards it, but it's awfully ex- $40 for $60 matinee seats. according to the 1b blog, highly recommended by mrs perry. i don't like susan hill (after kotc, urg) but this sounds rather good.

sometimes i am alive because with
me her alert treelike body sleeps
which i will feel slowly sharpening
becoming distinct with love slowly,
who in my shoulder sinks sweetly teeth
until we shall attain the Springsmelling
intense large togethercoloured instant

the moment pleasantly frightful

when, her mouth suddenly rising, wholly
begins with mine fiercely to fool
(and from my thighs which shrug and pant
a murdering rain leapingly reaches the upward singular deepest flower which she
carries in a gesture of her hips)

---

we seem to be talking about the mysteries of life a lot these days. how glad we must make the boys.

hello all you lovely people i'm very glad for you.

and stop allowing me to monopolise the blog!

this is the female side of 1A13A's list of historical/ literary crushes.
typed up by kelly with claudia's comments in italics. hope you don't mind kel!

purely historical crushes

bismarck
saint-just
leslie cheung (choon says..)
robespierre

literary crushes--shakespearean characters

octavius caesar
cassius
mercutio
benedick
laertas
hamlet

literary crushes--the harry potter universe

severus snape YESYES! =D
all the male malfoys (haha!) ditto!
JAMES POTTER =D
sirius black
(no one wants remus?) possibly. but i want snape/malfoy first.

literary crushes--tolkien

legolas
eomer
FARAMIR =D
aragorn

literary crushes--children's literature

julian
dick (-amused-) how... disturbing
nicholas (from saki)
edmund pevensie (from lewis)
T.
jack (from ballantyne's coral island, check sp)

literary crushes--myth/ legend/ misc

hector
jack sparrow
headless horseman vaish. -_-
edward scissorhands
robin hood
alan-a-dale
will scarlet yes! with the dart thingies!

literary crushes--more miscellaneous

archie costello
ralph lanyon
the patrician swoons. to be in a scorpion pit with him. =P
pinkie
gilbert blythe
jem blythe
mr rochester =D for ruth and i!
mark darcy
tyler durden
ender wiggins brains. oooh.
bean more brains, and short too!
dov landau (from leon uris' exodus)

okay so this is adrienne rich.

or if you don't like clicking on links, this is perhaps a very striking one
(blame the first word):

Two Songs

1.
Sex, as they harshly call it,
I fell into this morning
at ten o'clock, a drizzling hour
of traffic and wet newspapers.
I thought of him who yesterday
clearly didn't
turn me to a hot field
ready for plowing,
and longing for that young man
pierced me to the roots
bathing every vein, etc.
All day he appears to me
touchingly desirable,
a prize one could wreck one's peace for.
I'd call it love if love
didn't take so many years
but lust too is a jewel
a sweet flower and what
pure happiness to know
all our high-toned questions
breed in a lively animal.

2.
That "old last act"!
And yet sometimes
all seems post coitum triste
and I a mere bystander.
Somebody else is going off,
getting shot to the moon.
Or a moon-race!
Split seconds after
my opposite number lands
I make it--
we lie fainting together
at a crater-edge
heavy as mercury in our moonsuits
till he speaks--
in a different language
yet one I've picked up
through cultural exchanges...
we murmur the first moonwords:
Spasibo. Thanks. O.K.

*

shoojee you might like this. it's called /living in sin/ but is not very sexual, so be reassured there. ;p
in fact i kindof like that one.
i shall post it.

Living in Sin

She had thought the studio would keep itself;
no dust upon the furniture of love.
Half heresy, to wish the taps less vocal,
the panes relieved of grime. A plate of pears,
a piano with a Persian shawl, a cat
stalking the picturesque amusing mouse
had risen at his urging.
Not that at five each separate stair would writhe
under the milkman's tramp; that morning light
so coldly would delineate the scraps
of last night's cheese and three sepulchral bottles;
that on the kitchen shelf amoong the saucers
a pair of beetle-eyes would fix her own--
envoy from some village in the moldings...
Meanwhile, he, with a yawn,
sounded a dozen notes upon the keyboard,
declared it out of tune, shrugged at the mirror,
rubbed at his beard, went out for cigarettes;
while she, jeered by the minor demons,
pulled back the sheets and made the bed and found
a towel to dust the table-top,
and let the coffee-pot boil over on the stove.
By evening she was back in love again,
though not so wholly but throughout the night
she woke sometimes to feel the daylight coming
like a relentless milkman up the stairs.

*

with reference to the above does it count as sapphic writing if it's written about lesbian women but is about heterosexual love?

*

and i have another fitzgerald poem
(remember "whispering half-love over the lilt of the water"?)
but i will not post it now or else everyone will have a poetry overdose -_-

*

okay i will really stop flooding the blog now.
was supposed to have emailed hist thing to vivien 4 minutes ago. ack.

aven:
you missed some of those -famed- for it. adrienne rich. anne sexton? edna st vincent millay! carol ann duffy! (for the benefit of 13a.) how about just sapphic writing in general? jeanette winterson. anais nin.

was trying to raise examples of poets who weren't famed for it!
anyway i haven't read adrienne rich. uh. surprisingly? ;p
are you sure carol ann duffy counts? i thought she was more atwood-esque.
but then again i don't know much about her.

eh i dunno. what -do- you all want to do?

and being "so female" is just female and mm.
-amused- i forget i'm in a mixed school, i think!
i'd rather be more detached. that is, sometimes. in general.

interesting topic, that.
emotional involvement vs detachment.
which do you think is preferable?

and you know what i can't believe i forgot to say this.

the littrippers' present was absolutely lovely.
thank you all so much.
it's such a wonderful class..
haha! if you'd said the right thing right after i'd first seen it you probably could've made me cry.
ugh i am so female. ;p

hellohello.
for those of you who still don't know:
sapphic poetry means poetry written by lesbians/ about lesbians.
that is a very broad definition.
it is not, however, (necessarily) the literary equivalent of soft porn.
as you can see from some of the poets i've mentioned below.

sapphic poetry can also refer to poems written in sapphic meter
which (presumably?) are not necessarily lesbian poems.

sappho herself was a famous female poet who lived on the isle of lesbos (greece).
should explain where the words come from. =)

this is the probably the best site online for finding such poetry.
apart from sappho herself, these are some well-known poets who may have written verses classified as sapphic/ lesbian:
christina rossetti ("pulse for pulse, breath for breath", "who has seen the wind? neither you nor i. but when the trees bow down their heads, the wind is passing by.")
amy lowell ("i pour my heart and watch it burn")
emily dickinson ("to make a prairie")
charlotte mew ("hurt not the trees")

do note that these poets were not necessarily lesbian.
also, that you don't have to condone sapphic verse for it to exist.

but anyway =) even if we don't do this for litday it should be an interesting read.

excerpt from Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope.

"...How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;
'Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;'
Desires compos'd, affections ever ev'n,
Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n."

http://www.monadnock.net/poems/eloisa.html

kelly do something about batchelor and gp. please. i don't think i can take more of her and i dont understand how any of you can find her not so bad. at this rate I'm going to be a daniel-teh. ie. very very quiet.

hey all
since i can't say anything that won't sound trite

(and probably will annoy a whole lot of people because that's what i seem to have been doing a lot lately)

here is cummings.
claud, especially, i hope you like it.
and choon.

this is no.41... out of 50, not sure how they're grouped.

*

41

up into the silence the green
silence with a white earth in it

you will(kiss me)go

out into the morning the young
morning with a warm world in it

(kiss me)you will go

on into the sunlight the fine
sunlight with a firm day in it

you will go(kiss me

down into your memory and
a memory and memory

i)kiss me,(will go)

You do not come dramatically, with dragons
That rear up with my life between their paws
And dash me butchered down beside the wagons,
The horses panicking; nor as a clause
Clearly set out to warn what can be lost,
What out-of-pocket charges must be borne
Expenses met; nor as a draughty ghost
That's seen, some mornings, running down a lawn.

It is these sunless afternoons, I find
Install you at my elbow like a bore
The chestnut trees are caked with silence. I'm
Aware the days pass quicker than before,
Smell staler too. And once they fall behind
They look like ruin. You have been here some time.

---

how poignant and true.

disappointment. somehow, i expected more.

im so tired..
hows everybody?
how was rmun?!
n wiggy ur english is on another plane la..
i checked iberian on dictionary.com .. then i realised i had to check the MAP to really really understand ... geography n shit.. but nvm ill just take it as .. that part of europe orsmth
n i gaf up reading after 'motley' .. but dictionary.com gaf me an idea. motley = many colours rite.. nso i want to sew a pair of motley pants.. as in construire as in ill construct it.. from cloth ^_^
and im drowning in french gay music
like homosexual !
n do u noe tt there are books for children w homosexual parents.. children's books.. e.g. i have 2 mummies..
ok all of u prob already noe..
smtimes i feel lyk academically and gen knowledgerily and everything schoolily i get owned by every1 in class.. n i noe im not stupid.. but im not anything good. purvis gives me tt kidn of feeling
but me n my fren decided to screw him n just do our work..
but half of u love purvis rite
i haf a fantasy
tt ill do damn well for a and c
and ill do damn badly for silas marner
and he'll ask me wads wrong
and ill be like cos i dun like u
and he 'll be like may i ask y
and ill be like cos u dun like me!

n im sorry i find it rellie hard to like pple who dun like me..
which is q natural actually.. but natural to me
if purvis liked me hugely i'd hate anybody who din like him
so hATE ME PLEASE

n ruth i think .. does ruth chekc the blog btw?? anyway if i forgot totell u i think u'll like la cigarette by sanseverino ..i feel like smoking now.. o wait.. u prob heard tt song alredy too. sanseverino sounds terribly familiar

blimey its so late
so screwed tmr
OH GREAT
tmr we get back lit papers jus remembered
miracle
kiseki
i rmb i used to pon getting back exam results so i could pretend i din care and if i din do well pple will be like she nver studies n she doesnt care anyway but i did study and if i did well pple will be like o wow tt girl ah..
but now exam results just depressme or elate me den its alrite.. cos i rellie think i can still survive w out a cert.. id jus be forced to live out another kind of life tt i might be thankful for nxt time.. i thot of grace when i typed tt..hrm

i dun relie tok much to vivien now it feels kinda weird.. lyk on e uk trip she helped me so much and i felt so grateful but now we barely tok o yea we gotta go feed those batchelor cats

n its weird to be typing all this n ive half a mind to delete it (as those who never always say ) but since im half awake and half asleep i haf some .. urh.. im absolved from faute cos im semi conscious.. its weird cos vivien mite read this n i shd use 'you' rite.. yea vivien if u see this tell me y we nver tok.. is it cos i tok too much to grace

sigh politics
counter it with blaResgh comments

words are flowign outliyk endless rain tu a pper cup
jaegu dever

im goin change moi wolde

this song stopped .. wait there werent any tears anyway... those tearsif there were any when i lsot my camera in bAth.. thanks aparna.. e discman friggin helped.. fwoozerific song old 'ufus.. or jon or paul or wadeva

or fiona

apple i mean

i took few pics of me.. in my cam.. half of it was on ruth actullie
n vivien n bernice yes
n can i tell u smth
it din matter at all when u guys sed ' nvm, u can jus get my photos.. cos we all took e same photos anyway'
my phgotso were myh photos cos i spent effort on them n to me it was my art work howeverlousuily they fit into wigfgy's 9 square grid thing.. i din cry but here i am half a month later moping..well its a friggin blog right pple want to friggin read abt friggin PERSONJAL SHIt rite n i dun meanna curse with shit its just my way of saying .. things.

im half tired but soudnslike im drunk but i drank milk onli so im like kogeypan that burnt piece of bread tt gets drunk of milk lijun tole me tt n newae im correct irte blogs ar supposed to let esp blogs u share w other pple u let other pple noeu better . n i wun say this to ur face.. cos if i say it i will bore u cos pple dun like listening to other pple im not insinuating im talking abt myself acutally ive gotpple complainig to me i dun like it smtimes grace doesnt check this blog so its okay ha ha ha no la grace i can listen to u

time to sleep

what IS beautiful football? who's to decide what is beautiful football?

in the light of the euro2004 final there has been lots of critics of greece's game, slamming them for not "displaying the beautiful game" and potentially deterring more people from taking up the sport.

i'll admit - the game was not really exciting - it was more intruiging than anything else.
but the well-oiled menace machine of the greeks against iberian flair and attacking verve of the home team - this IS as close to the ideal football match as one can get. it elucidates and elaborates on the basic premises of the game - attack against defence.

beautiful is subjective - efficiency can be as beautiful as finesse. the technical ability of the greeks cannot be undermined or ignored...wasn't it beautiful, in a way, how they managed to counter just about everything scolari and his charges threw at him?
with near-impeccable vision and reading of the game the quartet of seitaridis, fyssas, dellas and kapsis nullified the threat of figo, ronaldo and deco. uncanny tackles, precise intercepting runs, strength in challenges... this is a celebration of the ability of body and mind. along with the midfield pair of basinas and zagorakis, the backline epitomised all that is beautiful in the mental aspect of football - almost completely efficient and effective implementation of their game plan.

portugal represent one type of beauty - not that greece aren't beautiful, they're just beautiful on a different plane.

so don't take anything away from this motley crew's cinderella adventure, one to rival that of the danes in euro92 when, after a last minute callup, schmeichel and the laudrup brothers trumped everyone to the title. possibly it will not last long - majority of the squad are on their last legs, and there does not seem to be a new generation coming through - but while it does, let them continue playing their game their way. they've proven it works - and actually it isnt that bad to watch after all - so why pan them?

at least they didn't stroke the ball around the backline for 5 mins like some team did at the last world cup...

ok that was an overtly despondent post! although i -am- in a rather fight club mood. would be wonderful to have an alter ego as hot as tyler durden. in fact, it would be wonderful to be edward norton, period. edward norton! =D i want to watch another one of his films. his talent is magnetic. laughs. never mind sharapovas. i want my edward! (and my jules, and my thom, and my jonny, yes i am rather fickle.)

anyhow. it's day -1!! yo rmun staff psyche up psyche up! [councillor style] i should invite bernasty in here to guest star for this. grin. i am looking forward to rmun, as masochistic as that may sound.

yeah. rmun staff, you're excused from 950 onwards on wednesday. now. the rest of you. do you not wish you had volunteered? grin.

this is claudia's frantically worried inefficiency.

it is rmun day -1, and i am seeing things everywhere that haven't been done.

this is claudia's inability to delegate work.

like i told vaish, i have an amazing inability to trust other people to do the work i assign them. hence even when i bring myself to, i bug them, i watch them, i do everything within my power to ensure that they work like an extension of me.

this is claudia's convoluted planning.

i assign 6 people to do a thing when 2 will suffice, because like i said i can never trust people to do things for me.

this is claudia, who wants an entire army of her own clones to order around. bah.

all you fickle pretty-skirt-chasers. poor serena, i liked her so much! what power on court, what sheer impact, and what a backhand! swoonworthy backhand. though i must grudgingly admit that that shrew has amazing shot placement. still! williams!!!

Yayyyy I'm so proud of her. Although I didn't even manage to watch the match because I had to freaking socialise with boring 19-year-olds who could talk about nothing but making out and booze parties and foam parties and unabashedly exlcuding me from the conversation. Not that I minded, because it was so mindlessly uninteresting so thank god thank god thank god I had my phone to occupy me.

Anyway she is so damn COOL. She's only like 17 or something right. Wowwwwww. Haha. I'm high!

sorry to bump your poem down, claud, but...

SHARAPOVA!!
like a rainbow, she appeared after the rain break and shone her megawatt smile time and again on the pastures of centre court, sw19...
and defeated lindsay davenport 2-6, 7-6, 6-1. ole!

she's probably also ensured my failing maths tomorrow, but hey! it was worth it...hahahahaha.

SHARAPOVA!!!

i sing of Olaf glad and big
whose warmest heart recoiled at war:
a conscientious object-or

his wellbelovéd colonel (trig
westpointer most succinctly bred)
took erring Olaf soon in hand;
but-though an host of overjoyed
noncoms (first knocking on the head
him) do through icy waters roll
that helplessness which others stroke
with brushes recently employed
anent this muddy toiletbowl,
while kindred intellects evoke
allegiance per blunt instruments-
Olaf (being to all intents
a corpse and wanting any rag
upon what God unto him gave)
responds, without getting annoyed
"I will not kiss your fucking flag"

straightaway the silver bird looked grave
(departing hurriedly to shave)

but-though all kinds of officers
(a yearning nation's blueeyed pride)
their passive prey did kick and curse
until for wear their clarion
voices and boots were much the worse,
and egged the firstclassprivates on
his rectum wickedly to tease
by means of skillfully applied
bayonets roasted hot with heat-
Olaf (upon what were once knees)
does almost ceaselessly repeat
"there is some shit I will not eat"

our president,being of which
assertions duly notified
threw the yellowsonofabitch
into a dungeon,where he died

Christ (of His mercy infinite)
i pray to see;and Olaf,too

preponderatingly because
unless statistics lie he was
more brave than me:more blond than you

-- e.e. cummings, whom i love above all.